WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
