i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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