if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.