no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??