she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
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Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body