can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown