stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.