i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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