You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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