Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
