I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hippo gnu deer
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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