Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
