Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's blow job season.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
