Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Randomize