I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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