This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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