Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
