I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
