I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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