I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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