just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
did i walk over a car last night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So much Jack, so little girl.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
