I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
