Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
