My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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