So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
