Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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