I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
