I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
