No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
