yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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