i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
