He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
