I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
