hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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