So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
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Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
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She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3