you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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