So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
