we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
