oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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