Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize