Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
