ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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