Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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