By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
