Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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