Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
