Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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