they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
