NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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