the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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