woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
