i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
