so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!