But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
