He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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