hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
