Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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