Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize