So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
