hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
