I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
