apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you never un-have a 4some
is that a dick in a sweater?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
