six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
