no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
