I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
