you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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