i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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