i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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