the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
