so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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