If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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