I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
